Unbroken
by giggle-like-mad
Summary: Lily's POV. She's one of the most self destructive girls in the school, except no one knows it yet. Things get bad during her 6th year, James moves next door the next summer. Lily's in binds she doesn't know how to get out of, and she's the only one aware


We were best friends from the beginning…. (Explain how met)

a/n will be in this bracket type thingies. a/n:haha yeah that's laughing, unless the persons thinking then it will just be _haha_ okay?

We were best friends from the start, we did any and everything with each other. Together we made a pack, to be friends from the beginning to end; through thick, through thin, and every problem would be solved together. We didn't see how dangerous it could be. It seemed flawless at the time, who could've known a simple childhood pact could rip us apart?

Our stories don't really get interesting until the year we turned sixteen. Four new boys moved in down the street from us, that's when our simple worlds were turned upside down.

My best friends, Sierra Martin, Evie Sinn, and Krystal Hart were immediately infatuated with them and I of course was the one most obsessed with them. We tried to talk to them, just so we could get a name and stop calling them "he" and "hotty", but they wouldn't have anything to do with us.

About three weeks after they moved in they finally decided to hang out with us. That's where everything starting going out of control. We showed up at their house ready for the fun we were used to, that's not exactly what they had in mind.

Rikki, the boy I was obsessed with brought out different cans of pop and handed them out. Christian, Sierra's obsession immediately starting chugging the soda down, so naturally Sierra followed suit. JP and Evie got along immediately and looked like they couldn't look away from each other. Weird, I know. Kasey, Krystal's crush seemed a little bit shy at first but he was talking non stop with her.

Rikki and I sat in silence for the first couple of minutes but pretty soon I started feeling amazing, and I started seeing all kinds of colors. Everything seemed to be funny and I could feel everything! I could feel the beat from music I'm sure only I could hear, I had never felt so alive.

I tried to find everyone else but somehow I wasn't in the same room as them. Rikki and I were the only ones around, I should've been panicking but I just didn't care. We spent a couple of hours like this and before I knew what was going on it was morning and I was back in my house. Rikki must've walked my friends and I home because we were all there. I know now that the cans of pop had LSD in them, Rikki forgot to mention that little detail.

The next couple of weeks passed the same way: We'd go to Rikki's or JP's house around 6 every night and end up doing some kind of drug or getting drunk. I don't know how we got away with it, none of our parents ever asked what we were doing or came to check on us. Maybe if they had things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.

We were only home for 2 months before we had to go back to school, you wouldn't believe how a person could change in that little amount of time. Did I forget to mention the boys were all transferring into our school? Who knows where they'd been before that, we didn't ask and they didn't say.

The time finally came when we had to get back on the train, this year though we were anything but excited. After thinking about it for awhile I decided to talk to Evie about some concerns I had been having about the whole situation.

"**Evie, what if no one excepts us? I mean getting higher than a kite has to be frowned upon right?"** I asked  
Evie looked at me for awhile before saying "I've been thinking about that too, I mean 1st and 2nd year we never made a mistake, hell I don't think we've ever lost 5 points from our house. Everyone will be shocked, who knows they might even shun us."

"**What are we going to do? Keep everything a secret and pretend to be perfect little innocents?"** I asked a bit bitterly.

"**Well yeah, I mean think about all those weird people who are always paying attention to you. Who knows what they'll do? Either revolt against you or try and join in. The last thing we need is a whole bunch of crack heads running around with wands."** She said laughing at the end, she had a point.

"**What are Sierra and Krystal going to think? Oh who are we kidding, they're going to want to keep it secret too. Maybe we shouldn't do anything while we're there, after all we'd have to talk to people we don't want to be seen with."** I know how conceited that sounds, but I have an image to keep up. So does Krys, Sierra, and Evie. Plus she had a point, lots or random people watch what I do, why I don't know.

"**What's JP going to think? I can't ditch him because I care what people think of me!"** she said a bit frustrated.

"**Well either way we are going to piss people off, I'd rather piss 4 people off instead of like 400"** oh the predicaments I get myself into.

"**Maybe they won't want to be seen with us if we start dressing all preppy and goody goodyish. If we make them want to ditch us at school that's okay!" **She said sounding like it was the brightest idea ever.

"**Well, I guess it's worth a try. Although we only have 2 days to try that out. Oh forget it, we're never going to please everyone! Let's just stop caring for like a week!" **I said angrily, why should I have to be whatever one else wants to see? Huh? Got an answer for that? Didn't think so…

We tried our plan out for awhile, and it worked like a charm. Although if we hadn't done it intentionally we would've hated them, those stupid boys have no tact. They came flat out and said **"We decided we don't want to be seen around the halls with you, I mean we'll have a reputation to maintain, and you'll ruin it. Sorry but we can still hang out in the summer." **

After that brilliant statement they turned around and walked off. Boy are they lucky we played with their heads to get our way, otherwise we would've been PISSED! But oh well, off to Kings Cross now.

The train station looked the same, but if _felt_ different; Maybe because we weren't all tingling from excitement and nerves. I was dreading it, Sierra just pretended like nothing was different and Evie and Krystal acted like it was the end of the world.

"**Do you think if we turn around now anyone will see us? Will they just think we decided we didn't like magic anymore?" **Krystal asked

**"Well it wouldn't matter anyway, we wouldn't be able to do _anything_ anyway. After all Rikki's gone."** I said, talking like it was the most obvious thing ever.

**"Yeah, but we met some other people, I'm sure we could get what we wanted**." Krystal said.

"**Our parents won't let us so just drop it!"** Sierra nearly shouted. We all stared at her in shock, she NEVER yelled. She never even lost her temperit was freaky.

Just as Evie was about to say something about it we all heard the most dreaded sound on earth "**Oy, Evans!"**

I was barely able to hold in the groan that was trying to escape. James Potter, God must hate me. "**Well Evans, I'm pleased to see you've changed for the better"** at my offended look he quickly added "**Not that there was anything wrong with the way you looked before, I'm just saying you changed and it suits you. I would've been perfectly happy if you didn't change, you didn't need to change. Sirius tell her she didn't need to change!" **He said trying to un-offend me, all though he didn't offend me-I just thought it was funny watching him back-track. "**You didn't need to change**" Sirius added without passion, it was obvious he didn't care if he hurt my feelings-I didn't care all that much either. "**Ah, Evie Sinn, the separation just made our reunion sweeter"** Sirius said looking Evie up and down.

"**Save it for someone who doesn't love seeing you in pain, Black**" Evie said with loathing in every word.  
Sirius inhaled and said **"That cut me deep, Sinn**"

"**Then bleed and die, Black. God knows I won't miss you. Lets go"** Evie said as she turned around. We all left after that, you couldn't pay us enough money to spend time with those arrogant prats. Well you could, but it would A LOT of money. I guess Remus isn't _THAT_ bad, but Pettigrew, Black, and Potter made our skin crawl.

We went in search for a compartment, it took us like 20 minutes to find one but no biggie. All of us were smiling and being disgustingly sweet to everyone we passed, you'd think they'd see through the act but they didn't. After all, why would you? We made it our life goal to be what people wanted to see. That sounds like its impossible but basically people all want to see the same things. We didn't mind it to much, it helped us get out of trouble.

Not to long after the train started some Slytherins turned up to make some rude comments to us about our blood-line. I can't believe they actually thought those offended us, I mean come on! The greasiest of the lost Severus Snape, better known as Snivellus though we'd never admit to calling him that spoke first.

"**Well if it isn't the slime of Hogwarts"** He drawled, even his voice sounded greasy. Ew. Krystal being the smart-ass she is responded with **"You do know you can talk to yourself elsewhere right?"** she paused **"I just wanted to make sure you know, maybe all that grease from your hair was impairing your thinking**" she said coldly.

I don't necessarily like Snape, okay so I almost hated him but I didn't really see the need to be rude. To anyone, ever. Except Potter, he doesn't count. He deserves some rude things said to him now and then, after all most people worshiped him.

"**Ah, and here's Hogwarts own little whore**" Snape said, directing it towards Evie. Now I was pissed.

**"Lily, he's talking to me, and looking at me. Oh my God, why is he looking at me?" **Evie said, saying it like Snape should beg for permission to breathe the same air she did. **"Why's he still here?"** she asked me again.

"**Is there a reason you're here? Oh God, please don't tell me you've discovered hormones."** I said looking him up and down. **"I'm sure there's a dog somewhere who would love you company-but we don't see the point in being near your stench any longer, so if you could just leave…" **I said as Sierra pointed her wand at them causing them to fly out of the compartment.

"**I feel bad, but he _did _ call you a whore, I could've done worse."** I said trying to convince myself it was true. I don't know why I was so passive, but I couldn't stand seeing people hurt. It was like I could feel their pain, and when I caused it it was so much worse.

"**Oh come off it Lily, you know you enjoyed it"** Sierra said, and we all laughed. We all knew how I really was. We passed the time talking about people we saw and how they had changed. Sooner then we thought we were at Hogwarts.

We did the usual, pushing our way off the train and running to get a carriage. Once we were in the great all we took the 4 seats at the very end of the Gryffindor table. Nothing was worse then trying to talk when teachers were staring at you.

After the sorting and Dumbledore's speech the food appeared on the table and everyone began chowing down. For awhile we didn't talk and just listened to the people next to us talk. Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little eave's dropping!

I looked around the hall, seeing everyone shoving food in there mouths like there was no tomorrow made my stomach turn. It was gross. I looked down at my plate, squeaky clean. I hated eating after a long train ride, it made me feel like I weighed 800 lbs.

Looking around at my friends I noticed Evie wasn't eating either. Sierra only had lettuce on her plate and Krystal was stirring some mashed potatoes around eating a bit every now and then. _Hm…peculiar _I thought. _Wait, did I just say peculiar? Who says peculiar? Honestly, I need to stop with the rich boy talk. Or is it rich girl? Why am I thinking all this anyway? Wow I need something else to focus on, Hey! Something shiny! What is that? Oh, oh its moving! Wait! No! Ew! Not Potter!  
_

The shiny thing I was looking at was the watch on Potter's wrist. Ew, he saw me looking at him! Great now he's going to insinuate (_insinuate? Wtf? Wait, I was thinking about something….oh right_) that I like him! Oh great here he comes.

"**So Evans, changed your mind about me yet? Want to go out with me?"** Potter said, I didn't even bother responding. I just lifted my eyebrows and looked at him then looked away_. You wouldn't believe what silence can do to someone! Like this one time Petunia kept complaining about how I was singing and making loud noises and I was annoying her, and then she started throwing things at me so I decided to teach her lesson and not talk. It wasn't like sulking silence, it was just silence and it drove her crazy! She started getting pissed and yelling at me even more and wait I got distracted, why's Potter looking at me like that? Oh great, please don't tell me I he said something and I look like a complete idiot just staring at him without blinking_.

"**Leave"** I said, not even trying to be nice. My thoughts were getting blonder by the minute, I hate when that happens. I can't seem to think about one thing without trailing off onto another subject. Ugh, why's he still here?

"**Did you eat an extra bowl of 'stupid' this morning? Or are you just asking for trouble?" **I said as I held up my cup of pumpkin juice. _Ooh I should dump it on him _I thought. _Maybe I should pour my pumpkin juice on him…Ooh it would stain and it would stink, it's not like I'm going to drink it. Honestly, pumpkin juice tasted like someone ate a pumpkin then threw it up. Who would drink it anyways? Haha I bet Potter would! Maybe I should splash it on his face, wouldn't that be funny. Maybe I'll do it next time he opens his mouth, that'll be even funnier…ooh here I go!_

"**I saw you loo-**" He stopped abrubtly as I had just dumped my pumpkin juice on him. _Ha, the loser! Look at him opening and closing his mouth. He kind of looks like a fish. Hm…I could storm out of the Great Hall, or…I could sit back down and act like nothing happened, yes that's funnier.  
_

"**Did you just dump Pumpkin Juice on me?"** He said disbelievingly, he sounded kind of offended too-_PERFECT!_

"No" I answered calmly like nothing was amiss. _What the Hell? Now I'm saying amiss? I am so glad no one can hear what I think, that'd be embarrassing. Amiss? Do I even know what that means?_

After pulling myself out of that reverie, (_reverie? Oh I'm not even going to start_) I noticed everyone was laughing? _Haha, there I go again. Sometimes I love the weird little things I do, like the way I think. I seems stupid but it amuses me. Haha, sometimes it amuses me too much.  
_

_Oh, like this one time I thought I was alone in the Common Room and I started laughing at what I was thinking (It was funny) and then I hear moving and I turn around and who else but Potter (ew) was there looking at me like I was crazy. But yeah, I'm gonna pull myself out of my little world now. I should come up with a name for it…_

I just smiled and eventually the laughter stopped, sometime while I was lost in my thoughts James left. _Hehe_, I thought. Once again talking continued between my friends and I_I shall call them my posse. Why? Because I want to._ _And please tell me I did not just say shall. Wow…._

So the feast finished up and we all went on our merry little ways (_merry?). _ once we were up in the girls dormitories we all changed into our pajamas and started decorating our little area's. We turned on the WWW and just listened. I didn't know all the songs, and I didn't really want to, they were stupid. All they talked about funny spells and potions gone awry (_awry! STOP IT!)_ and stupid things like that.

"**Honestly, don't they write about REAL problems? No one cares if your stupid-ass potion turned your hair green!"** Sierra said, I laughed and said **"That's just what I was thinking. They need songs about like, I don't know, a stupid boy being stupid and a girl kicking his ass for his own stupidity, or they could at least insinuate that people have SIREOUS problems! Honestly!"** I said, and was a little confused when they all started laughing.

"**Did I miss something**?" I asked, while the continued to laugh and not answer me. **"Come one, I wanna laugh too**!" I said.

"**You talk like such a ditz, no one would ever think you were smart! haha And then you'll randomly slip a big word in there like 'insinuated'"** Evie said.

"**Insinuated isn't a big word"** I said. They kept laughing so I just finished up my little bedish area. Pretty soon I got pooped, yes pooped and went to bed. The next morning classes started (woopee-NOT). After waking up insanely early (6:30 to be exact) I got dressed and went down to breakfast.

I hated breakfast. My stomach always felt like a rock in the morning so I never ate. Plus, breakfast food was so gross. Grosser then Snape, when he's been sweating. That's saying something. Speaking, (more like thinking) of Snape he was looking at me. _Disturbing. I wish he would stop, he's not even blanking. I wonder if I move my head his eyes will follow me, lets see! Yup, they're following me. Maybe I should throw this scone at him, no I couldn't hit him if I was two feet in front of him. I'll just stare back, yes this is fun.  
_

_Ha, bet he wasn't expecting this. Nope definitely not, he's looking annoyed. Haha food just fell of his fork. Haha it went all over his robe. Hahaha he's trying to rub it off and its just smearing. Ha look at him go! He's just making a mess. Hehehe trying to grab another napkin and he knocks the food of plate onto his lap, could this morning get better? And to top it all off I've been staring at him the whole time! Not laughing though, that'd be just plain rude. Just staring. Well, as fun as this has been I'm going to classes now._

So today was just the average school day, reject breakfast, try to concentrate in class, fail miserably, trip a Slytherin after a rude comment made to one of my friends, pretend to be all nice and happy, turn down Potter, find nothing appetizing at dinner, ignore Potter, and then do homework. Yes, routine was good.

Basically the whole month past like this. I had trouble at first not having alcohol and other stuff _haha, I can't even call it its name in my own mind_. Eventually though it became easier. Sierra and Krystal looked like hell though, for some reason they didn't like it when I told them that. _Some people are so touchyhaha_.

Evie and I were talking and she asked if I missed alcohol, well duh!  
"**Of course I do! Nothing seems as funny anymore!**" I said. She just looked at me with like this weird half smile on her face.

"**I miss the we-"** She was cut off in mid sentence by my  
"**Don't say it! Use a code word like, candy!"** I said.

"**My God Lily, your so paranoid. No one's going to overhear us**!" She said, sounding exhasperated.

"You **don't know that! Just don't say the words, people could be listening, recording ever word we say so one day they can black mail us with it or throw it back in our face or find out a secret weakness and tear us apartyou never know."** I said, talking really fast.  
**"Lily, you need a life.**" Was all she said.

Christmas came and we all went home. We being Rikki's posse too. This Holiday should be fun!

We were all boarding the train, we couldn't talk to Rikki and co. until we were back on our street, but that was all good. I couldn't wait!

"**My God, how did we live without this"** Evie said, sounding like she was in heaven. **"This. Feeling. Is. Orgasmic."** She said, punctuating every word. We all just looked at her, not bothering to respond. There was some dude checking me out, he was a friend Rikki had brought home with him. I wonder what his name is.

"**Hey"** was all I said when I walked up to him. The smart-ass, all he said back was "**Hey".** Rikki got out some Vodka-  
"**VODKA!"** I shouted, "**Gimme! giggle Vodka, proof God loves me and wants me to be happy, now give it!"** I said. I didn't even bother mixing it with other liquids, I just started chugging. They were all kinda looking at me funny, but hey, I love vodka!

I got drunk pretty fast and ended up making out with that un-named kid. I passed out somewhere along too. I had more to drink than everyone else and I was one of the last to konk out. I didn't throw up, everyone else did! _Ha, losers._  
The next day I woke up feeling a bit _blah._ Rikki told me the '?' kid was named Tom. What a boring name. But he seemed nice enough. After he woke up we started talking and it turns out I liked this dude.

I spent most of the Holiday with Tom, he was cool. He asked me out, and naturally I said yes. Close to the ending of the holiday we all got really drunk. By really drunk I mean, how they hell are we still alive? I made Tom mad somehow and being drunk he smacked me. It was pitiful; I'm so small I flew across the room. Well not literally more like moved 2 feet and fell on the ground. But still, you get the general idea.  
That was a shock; he didn't seem like that type of guy, oh well. He was drunk, that was probably the only reason why. Before that we all decided we could get drunk and do whatever else we felt like doing as long as we did it secretly. That was great! I didn't think I could survive without my good old vodka. I was introduced to Everclear too, it tasted like hell, but it got the job done quickly and I decided I liked it.

Tom and I talked later when he was sober (well, _soberer_) and he said he was sorry, he didn't know what came over him. That's goodhaI state the obvious. My face was just red and it was a little swollen but I didn't think it would bruise. Goody!

After getting dropped back at Kings Cross we all split up and headed for the train. I was wearing a tight muggle top, you could see that I was kinda extremely skinny, but that's okay. Skinny was what was acceptable. 

People kept looking at me, it was annoying. I could tell it was annoying Tom as well. I didn't understand why, we hadn't been going out for that long. I was wearing a red top and a black and red checked skirt, I guess it looked good because Everyone was looking at me. Wow, Tom was REALLY getting pissed off.

After Evie and I had found all of us a compartment who else but James friggin' Potter showes up with with is second banana (_second banana? Please, oh please tell me where you got that from…)_ Sirius Black, and that squishy kid that was always around.

"**Hey, Lily what happened?"** Pothead asked, he actually sounded concerned. Weird.

"**Potter, just go." **I said tiredly, I was really not in the mood. Plus Tom was sitting in the compartment across from us and was watching the whole scene closely.

"**Oh, well you can tell me the REAL story! I can help heal it too! Want me to try? What happened anyways?" **Potter asked, coming in the compartment further.

"**It's none of damn business Potter, You and your friends aren't wanted so PLEASE leave!" **Evie said heatedly. I told all of them about the incident with Tom, and they didn't wanna piss him off. It wasn't like he was gonna do it again.

"**He's just trying to help! And what's that wrap thingy on your wrist anyway?"** Black asked. _Ugh, Black. Why can't he just leave? It's not like that's Tom's fault. When I fell I landed on it funny, Tom doesn't even know._

"**Leave!**" Sierra and Krystal shouted at the same time, _aren't friends grand? _ I thought, choosing to ignore the word grand (_where'd it come from anyways?) _

Potter and Black and squishy all left and I glanced at Tom, oh he looked pissed. He slowly got up and came to our compartment. **"Lily, can I talk to you for a second?"** He asked, it was weird; He looked like he was about to blow a friggin gasget. Weird.

I got up and followed him out of the compartment. He walked over to a darker part of the train, it looked all private; _good make-out spot_, I thought. Yeah, that wasn't what he had in mind.

"**What the hell was all that about?"** He yelled. I cowered a little, I hate when people yell. I hate when I cause people to get angry, scared, or sad enough to yell. I immediately felt bad.

"**I'm sorry, he just pops up from time to time. I hate it!" **I said

"**_You don't hate it, you love having guys swarm all over you!_**" he yelled and slapped me across the face again. _Well that was rude. What? That's all I have to say? I should've been blonde…._

"**I'm sorry, I don't like it. I hate it. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say when he just pops up, I tried to make him go away but like the stupid Pothead he is he wouldn't leave!" **I said.

He grabbed the upper part of my right arm and said **"Maybe if you didn't dress like a whore, you wouldn't be treated like one" **then he slapped me again while holding me in place.

"**What was I suppose to do? Run screaming out of the compartment? I was trying to be mature! It's not my fault he's obsessed with me!"** _Yep, wrong thing to say._

I walked back to my compartment with a little limp. My whole body hurt. Stupid Potter. He brings trouble with him, and he just HAD to come around me. I opened the door and Evie hopped up and hugged me**. "What are we going to do?"** She whispered in my ear. Gotta love her, never even entered her head to let me deal with this alone.  
**"I don't know, but until we do I think I should stay away from guys. And dress like I'm ugly**" I said back, stupid Tom. Stupid Potter. _Stupid fly that kept flying into the window, just rise 2 freakin inches and fly out the window!_

a/n: So I'm gonna try writing from someone else's perspective nowwish me luck!

**James POV a/n: point.of.view, for those who don't know  
**

_Why does she always ask me to leave? I'm not so unbearable am I? It's not like I'm rude to her, in fact I'm excruciatingly nice to everyone around her and everyone around me if she's nearby.  
_

"Do they always have to be so rude?" Peter asked.

"They aren't exactly rude….okay so they are, but they're a lot nicer whenever Lily's around." Sirius said, boy he had it bad. I swear Evie was always on his mind, not like me. Lily's only on my mind whenever I'm not thinking about food and Quidditch.

"Yeah, but, they still aren't very nice. Krystal didn't even look at me, she just acts like I'm not there. I was there!" Peter said, sounding sad. Weird.

"What, do you like Krys or something?" Sirius asked, he looked like he was about to start laughing.

"No, I was just saying" Peter said a little too quickly. _Whatever, I'm going to zone out now.  
_

_What was with the red mark on Lily's face? And what was the wrappy thing on her wrist? Maybe I'll bug her until she tells me, yes that sounds good. Maybe I'll start bugging her during class, and then I'll get to see her face when she's trying not to say something rude but she really wants too. Oh yes, I can hardly wait!_


End file.
